DITZ

So I had a live radio show call me yesterday wanting to do a show with me today.....in Ireland.  Great fun and was happy to do it.

Usually they call me at home on the phone and we talk from here.  I had no problem with that except I knew I needed to control the external forces:  Cayman and his friend, Kanai who was with us for the day.  My sister and the dog.

the kids knew they had to go in another part of the house and be quiet until i came out to get them.  My sister was in her part of the house writing...knew she'd be safe and quiet.  I knew Duke, velcro boy, just wanted to be near me and would sleep soundly through almost anything excluding someone out and out banging on the door.

So the station calls, the show is live on air....Drivetime radio about those moments in life when you just have a brain fart....put books in the fridge; go upstairs to get something and by the time you reach the top flight, you can't remember what it was you wanted...those types things.  My art was to say the types of brain farts celebs have...okay.  Good enough.  had a few notes.

1)  the time Matt Dillon went to a party, parked the car then couldn't find it.  Heather searched venice Beach for hours looking for the rental car--had to chalk it up as an insurance claim.

2)  the time a client couldn't remember where her dad was buried and I had to go find him so I could get mom interred next to him, etc.

So Drivetime DJ asks me if I, as an assistant, ever had those memory lapse moments and I said that I didn't have many.  I got plenty of sleep, didn't drink liquor (that just about killed him....didn't drink?????  WHAT???) and ate relatively healthy foods...fish, veggies, brown rice, etc. 

Then out of seemingly nowhere Duke, our 200 lbs. of Old English Mastiff love (yes, the same breed that just got taken away from Ving Rhames because of the death of his friend...actually his double/a screenwriter by supposed dog mauling--it wasn't...his death is still a mystery according to the coroner) lets out this low guttural growl and then starts barking ferociously....on air in Ireland.  I was mortified and with one hand held the phone and with the other was trying to clamp Duke's mouth shut.

Of course the DJ brought it up in a "Did you just have one of those moments yourself, Heather?"  Because anyone else would have had the dog out of the room when speaking live....all after I touted that as a PA I didn't have many brain lapses.

Turns out that m sister came out from writing, saw the kids playing quietly in the dark and decided to go open the curtains.  If you open them before 11:30am tones of sunlight pours in and the house heats up.  After 11:30 am, at 11:37 approximately, when I was smack dab in the middle of an interview, she decided to open them.  Metal scraping on metal (patio curtains) on the outside patio sounded like an intruder to Duke and he sprang into action.

I was so frazzled after the interview I dropped a bottle of balsamic vinegar and it shot all over my white linen shirt and pants, all over the white kitchen...all over EVERYTHING.   ARGH!

I felt like a complete ditz.  Egads!